Reflection and Resurrection
This week has brought some challenges to me personally and professionally. I have a strong tendency to be self-righteous, I mean it's difficult not to be that way when I'm constantly right. There have been multiple moments this week that have caused me to pause, check my ego, and search within myself for the truth. I struggle internally, as I believe many of us do (please allow me this belief as any opposing view may humble me even more), with the need to be the best, smartest, funniest, most accurate, etc. I am often humbled by my students, my colleagues, my husband, my children, okay...well everyone really. The one thing that seems to humble me more than any other is music.
When I play an instrument, when I compose a new motif or ostinato, when I arrange a chord, when I conduct, when I listen, I am humbled. However, I am humbled in a constructive manner, not a critical manner. When people and situations teach me humility, I descend into an abyss of which I often feel there is no return. These are life's criticizing moments. Then...music. When music is there, I am resurrected to my true self, my honest existence. There is no superficiality. That is where God lives, in music. These are life's constructive moments. Every time I feel this resurrection, I am reminded of my purpose here.
Until next time...